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About humhum

humhum is short for human to human as we sit before and witness one another. Hum is also part of the sanskrit mantra So Hum. Loosely translated as So “I am,” Hum “that.” humhum exists to offer an opportunity for each of us to recognize and appreciate the wholeness and completeness within ourselves and in one another. Our team is remote across New York, and San Francisco, and our events are virtual. We host city-specific and all-location virtual experiences for several cities across the U.S. Check our schedule for upcoming experiences for your area.

 

How we started

Alexandra Ballensweig founded humhum in 2019 to address the unsatisfactoriness in their heart as they went about dating in New York, having recently moved from Los Angeles. They recognized how preconceived ideas about what “dating” looked like felt outdated, and icky— swiping felt transactional, and counter to how they wanted their dating experience to feel. Them asked themself, what would a dating experience that felt connected, generative, expansive, and kind look like? Alexandra launched the first humhum experience in-person, in New York’s Lower East Side in October of 2019, and humhum has since offered hundreds of virtual experiences and guided 1-1 dates, and now coaching too. Alexandra and the humhum team are on a mission to shift the paradigm—changing the modern outcome-oriented relationship to dating, to a process and growth-oriented one by re-designing the container within which we explore and build connection.

 

Photo taken by Jessian Titus

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The humhum experience

a Safe CONTAINER

Feeling safe is essential for meaningful connection. We set the tone with guiding agreements, and participants are led by facilitators through an experience of connection, both to themselves, and to one another.

Breath and mindfulness

Facilitators weave in breath practices, mindfulness to slow things down and point you inward so you’re in touch with what is arising in your experience.

Shared SILENCE

Silence offers the opportunity for deep inner listening, without distraction. Listening to our bodies and hearts and what it feels like to exist as ourselves just now is practiced throughout the humhum experience.

EYE CONTACT

Eyes are known as windows to the soul— much can be seen in and told through the eyes. In tantric yoga traditions, eye contact is used to support deep states of meditation within a pair. It’s also used in therapeutic techniques to foster a sense of empathy and connection between people. Most of us are not culturally accustomed to sustaining long periods of eye contact on a regular basis as it can feel extremely revealing and intimate. With practice it can feel freeing and soften the heart.

Conscious dialogue

Each person has an opportunity to share and be heard. We keep time, so you can stay connected to yourself. It goes against our familiar conversational tendencies to just share or just listen without interruption. This form of exchange creates more space in the conversation for you to watch your own mind and body as you engage with others.

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Meet the humhum team

 
 
 

Alexandra ballensweig

Founder, CEO

Alexandra has 10+ years of facilitating experiences, and holding space for groups to connect, collaborate, and create. Prior to founding humhum Alexandra worked as a consultant in Strategic Design and Product Management at BCG Digital Ventures, facilitating product innovation sprints for fortune 100 teams. Across corporate venture and consulting for startups, their experience spans across e-commerce, B2B SaaS, holistic wellness, finance, and event tech.


Alexandra is a certified Kundalini Yoga teacher, and a Reiki Master Teacher and practitioner trained in the Usui Method, and a Vipassana practitioner. They hold an M.S. of Industrial Design from Art Center College of Design.

Personal practice plays a critical role in Alexandra’s life and work. They have had the privilege of sitting multiple month-long silent retreats to study and practice meditation in the Theravada Buddhist tradition over the last decade. They maintain a committed daily meditation and yoga practice to create with integrity.

They're currently enrolled in the Dedicated Practitioner’s Program at Spirit Rock Meditation Center, committing to their intention of bringing practice into every aspect of living.

Dr. Eileen Shoals

Coach and Mental Wellness Advisor

Dr. Eileen Shoals, Psy.D, M.A., L.M.F.T., and Intuitive Spiritual Therapist is a licensed Marriage and Family Therapist in the State of California with a doctorate in Clinical Psychology. With 18+ years of service in the mental and emotional health field, her primary clinical techniques stem from training in Cognitive Behavioral Therapy, Solution Focused Therapy and elements of Dialectical Behavioral Therapy. Her extensive training in alternative treatment approaches includes connecting with the spirit of an individual to achieve balance and ultimate healing. Combining holistic approaches with traditional theoretical orientations has proven to be a successful combination in healing traumatic, addictive, psychiatric and/or emotional disorders.

Eileen has joined humhum as a mental health practitioner. In this capacity, she cultivates a safe space for strong mental health to exist within the dating experience. Through group facilitation and one-on-one sessions, Eileen offers emotional health guidance that safeguard a healthy sense of self throughout the adventure of exploring and sharing space with others.

Lindsey Kimura

Community Manager

After receiving a B.A. in Public Health from Johns Hopkins, the through-lines in Lindsey’s life are connection, wellbeing, and learning. She’s traveled to over 30 countries, and built a career across disciplines like finance, education, fitness, marketing, healing and wellness. With 12 years as a leader in professional pole fitness, Lindsey helped rebrand and shift the pole industry to include the fitness and sport angle, by creating training programs, competitions, accreditations, and more. Additionally Lindsey is a certified yoga teacher with 18 years experience. Her experiences have given her the opportunity to blend Western Science, Physiology, Eastern Medicine, Yoga and various healing modalities into grounded sacred offerings.

 

Efe Kabba

Facilitator

Efe is a storyteller who primarily works in the mediums of film/video and photography. She is currently based on Canarsie/Lenape Territory (aka Brooklyn, NY) but identifies as a global citizen. Her passion for humans, community, and connection has led her to host and facilitate large scale meditation gatherings in the past and, presently, conscious dating experiences via humhum. She dreams of a world where everyone has the tools to connect to deep intuition and feel empowered to create their own realities. 

@efeseestheworld

Shalin Mahadevia

Facilitator

Shalin is a meditation and yoga practitioner and guide with a background in neuroscience and music. He offers a variety of practices from concentration style meditation, to guided visualizations, gratitude practice, and movement.

Christie Mar

Facilitator

Christie is a coach, facilitator and energy worker who believes that people are fully sovereign, complete beings. She is devoted to the path of aliveness, and is committed to pointing people back to themselves. With humhum, her desire is to infuse each conscious dating experience with play, joy and connection so that people feel safe to embody their fullest, truest expression.

@christiemmar

 

jason Luk

Facilitator and Coach

Masters Certified Wellness Coach, Catalyst Coaching Institute (MCWC)
Certified Mindfulness Teacher, International Mindfulness Teachers Association (IMTA CMT-P)

Learn more here

Dr. Marie THouin

Coach

Dr. Marie Thouin is the founder of Love Insight Dating, a mindful dating coaching practice where she supports growth-minded people of all ages, genders, orientations, and relationship styles to create soulful relationships. She holds a PhD in East-West Psychology from the California Institute of Integral Studies, where her dissertation research focused on intentional intimate relationships.⁠

@love_insight_dating

 
 

Mental Wellness and Coaching

Coaches at humhum support you before or after dates, and at times during events to explore what’s top of mind/heart in your dating practice. They create space to explore what arises, or offer perspective on an experience.

Facilitated group and 1-1 experiences

Facilitators are skilled space holders; they will lead you through your group and 1-1 dating experiences so that all you have to focus on is what’s arising in your own experience, and on your connection with others.

 
 

As Featured On…

 
 

Cheaper than Therapy Podcast: Dene Logan and vanessa bennett

humhum founder Alexandra shares about how they started humhum, and explores what it means to date, and how to date in a nourishing way.

Love & Leadership: Inheritance Project Live with Alexandra

Alexandra is reimagining the way humans connect and build relationships. In our conversation, we dive into:

✔️Alexandra’s lessons in leadership from founding and building a company dedicated to conscious relating

✔️Our biggest mistakes and lessons learned in love and romantic relationships, and how they apply to business

✔️How to handle sticky situations and tough conversations, as a founder who is dedicated to conscious leadership

✔️How to stay committed to a new vision of work and human relationships, even in the face of push back and challenges

Dating: A Personal Growth Journey with Alexandra

Alexandra shares vulnerably about their own dating and practice journey, and how it led to the creation of humhum.